I'm struggling. I'm wrong. I'm falling. I'm gone.

I've had a few people comment about how open I've been in this blog with my struggles. Some positive, some negative. I want to share my thoughts on it.

#1. Staying silent got me in a heap of trouble

#2. I want people to know specifically what they can pray for...It's one of the ways I'm asking for help

#3. I want people to know that no matter what they are struggling with, someone else is struggling too. Everyone's struggles might manifest differently, but at the end of the day we are all in pain in some shape or form. I believe Christ created us to rely on one another, but how can we truly love each other if we surface life and don't dive deep? This belief has transformed my relationships since I've been home from Remuda. Example. My friend Chaz and I have gotten real with each other. We talk about our struggles, our hopes, our dreams, our slips, our failures. We pray, we encourage, we laugh. Isn't that how Christ designed us to live?

#4. Most importantly...I want to open eyes and maybe some hearts to eating disorders. I know there are a lot of people out there still struggling silently and I want to be living proof that speaking up is the most freeing thing you could ever do. There are also a lot of people who are extremely uneducated on this disease that is quietly claiming millions worldwide and I want to help change that. Maybe if I can shed at least a little bit of light on this veiled, taboo topic, Christ will get the victory and satan will be forced to find another tactic besides ignorance.

All of that being said...I'm struggling. Please pray for me. I'm tired. I'm fighting for a desire to recover. I'm fighting for God. I'm clinging to the cross but I'm exhausted and I'm losing my grip. I hate ED. But I love him at the same time...Remuda girls, you know what I'm talking about. I miss you and love you so much.